My next GI appointment is on June 24. I am anxious about it, because I have a couples things to talk about with my doctor since the last time I saw her in March. I have been having joint pain for the past couple of months, so much that I have to wear a brace at time on my left hand and wrist. Also, since the start of weening off of Pentasa in April, it seems my stomach symptoms are not really improving. I seem to be bleeding a lot when I use the restroom. Even if I just sit on the toilet to pee, I lose blood. I have strong painful bouts of diarrhea every 7-10 days-ish. It seems to come on so suddenly. I'm unsure if this is because I'm weening off the pentasa or what. Maybe my body just needs the Cimzia and the Pentasa. Things seem pretty steady though lately. Not remission, but not terrible. I must take it one day at a time.
Me and Isaac's one year wedding anniversary is on Saturday, June 15. We made it. I think to make it through the first year of marriage is a big achievement. So many people give up so easily. The longer we have to get to know each other, I feel that we will get better at being married. I still have so much to learn about my husband and how to be the best wife I can be. Marriage is teaching me the best ways to be unselfish and how to put another human life before my own. It definitely is like a mirror of my flaws. I see things about myself that I need to work on or face that I might never see if it weren't for Isaac in my life.
It feels so joyous to be doing life events with my best friend. We get to own a house together and make it our home. We get to be loving parents to our dog. me, Isaac and Izzy... we are a family. I love my new little family that has formed this past year.
Often time, I pray to God about my marriage. The most important thing I ask Him for is to have many, many long years with my husband. Time is essential. Time gives more memories, more chances to forgive and love, and more opportunities to get to know each other better and in deeper ways. This one year has flown by, and I know the next several will fly by even faster. I pray that we use all the time we have with each other so wisely, and to never waste the time the Lord gives us. I pray that I will never hold back and learn to love this man incessantly and unconditionally. I hope I learn to see him through Jesus' eyes more and more each day - with forgiveness, empathy, compassion, patience and kindness.
The two words I have heard Jesus whisper to me so many times this year when I might be annoyed with his socks on the floor or if we just got in an argument are "love him." He reminds me that I made a vow to love this man in better or worse. I will love him no matter what and never give up. I made a promise to love him even when it is hard, not just when I am happy with him. He is my best friend, my #1 supporter, my partner, and my one and only man. :)
Isaac is one of the only people in my life that reminds me to have faith that God can heal my Crohn's disease. He asked me, "Why wouldn't he?" He helps remind me that Jesus is the ultimate healer and doctor. I pray that the Lord continues to speak through us to each other. And I pray that we always keep God in our marriage, because through him we find healing, forgiveness, redemption, love and strength.
Happy Anniversary Babe! Can't wait to love you more.
