Sunday, August 11, 2013

I am Free Indeed

Tomorrow is Monday. Dun, dun, dun... :) I am so happy to be all ready for the week and sitting in bed right now at 8:30 pm. Sundays are my days to grocery shop, pick up the house a bit, pack my lunch and just mentally prepare myself for the upcoming work week. I like to feel relaxed and ready to go. 

My last post I wrote about my battle with Steven Johnson syndrome. Sadly, it did not end that night I posted the blog. I also battled with a a nasty persistent fever for several days as well due to the syndrome. This past week, I was able to better function, but the fever still slightly comes and goes. To make it through work I pop in ibuprofen, and that helps. I like to stay on top of my work and emails. 

Also, this past week my abscess became infected again. Currently, I am on a safer antibiotic called Amox-Clav that hopefully will help the infection. Unfortunately, it has given me a yeast infection. (of course it did ;)) I am thankful though, because I would much rather have a yeast infection than Steven Johnson Syndrome reaction again. 

Isaac and I did a very adult-married couple thing this weekend. We spent many hours at Mathis Brothers (the Wal-Mart of furniture in Oklahoma City) and bought a new couch! Furniture is so exciting! The couch we picked out is actually a sectional, which is what Isaac has been wanting for a long time. It will create more seating and give our living room such a homey feel. We had to special order the pieces though, so it will not be in for at least 8-12 weeks! 

Sadly, my favorite thing to do in the evenings during the work week is to lay on my couch and relax. I am very excited to lay on this new comfy couch that we will both have room to spread out on. :) 

Speaking of lay on the couch - Last night after we went to dinner with another young couple, we called it a night around 9 pm (haha, obviously we are old and married). Isaac and I both excitedly put our "comfy pants" on and took our places on the couch. 

While he began to play his favorite video game, I searched for a movie to watch. I found "Lovelace," a movie about Linda Lovelace. Since I did not grow up in the 1970's or 80's, I did not know much about Lovelace. I won't go into detail, but Lovelace grew to stardom from her short pornography film career in the 1970's. Later in the 80's, she claimed that she had been forced into the career, raped, beat by her husband and held at gun point many times. The controversy in her story is that some believed her, some did not. 

For some reason, this story intrigued me and saddened me. I'm not sure what I believe. After watching the movie, starring Amanda Seyfried, and researching her story online, I do believe she was scared, confused, and just did not stand up for herself. She didn't believe she could get out and felt stuck. That is always a lie. 

I have never been in a situation like hers. But I do know what it is like to feel paralyzed with fear. I do know what it is like to feel stuck living life a certain way or believing a lie about myself. That is satan trying to control me. My life's prayer is to recognize when I allow him to do this to me. I'm not sure if Linda Lovelace ever became a Christian, but I do know that with God's help, there is always a way out. We are never stuck. Through Jesus, I have freedom, and I do not live in bondage to anything.